So about a day ago, I bumped into my Ex and her sister, (I'm cool with both of them, so don't think it's one of those crazy relationship breakups where we hate each other or something) at some workshop we needed to take to get credit for one of our college courses. I was kinda surprised to see them there, cause we haven't really talked in a while. But what surprised me the most, was how much my Ex had changed. ..And by changed, I mean chaaaaaanged. (Body wise, if you catch my drift. Those tight booty shorts, tank top, you know what I mean.)
I mean, it's not like I haven't noticed before, cause I've bumped into them here and there, but it kinda just hit me at that moment. You know when you open a portapotty(however you spell it), and the smell just.. socks you in the face? Yeah it was kinda like that.
So this got me thinking. When I dated her, she was my first girlfriend. (This was in high school, I knew absolutely nothing, and was an imbecile when it came to girls and relationships.) I haven't been in an actual relationship since then, because I guess you can say I'm a bit picky when it comes to relationships, now that I "think" I know more about it. But when it comes to fooling around with any girl, I really could care less, as long as her intention is like-wise.
So, to get to the point, I've fooled around since then, with different girls. But what I keep thinking is, say I actually find a girl I wanna pursue a serious relationship with. ...and she's a virgin. Now, this is what kinda gets to me. Girls that aren't virgins, tend to not really care if you're not one either, as long as you're clean. But when it comes to virgins, that's where it gets iffy. I keep picturing situations in my head where we're having a deep (no pun intended) conversation, and she brings up the "how many have you slept with?" topic. This is where I would panic in my head. Saying one wouldn't sound bad, saying two would be worse, but still not as bad, but then when you get to three or more, that's where the world fucking comes to an end.
I'm in college now. I'm thinking what most other hormone raging college guys are thinking. "Okay, I would totally do her." "Holy shit, that buuttttttt!" "FFFFFFFUCK!" Yeah, you get the point. I'm not gonna lie, truthfully, I just wanna tap anyone that I find attractive. And this hot summer weather doesn't really calm my hormones down. (Hot weather = girls in short shorts, tank tops, bla bla, you get the point.)
Anyway, I'm kinda stuck between a rock.. and a hard place at the moment. Either I go mess around whenever I want and don't give a fuck, or find a relationship. But then again, relationships = money, time, devotion, etc., whereas messing around involves little to nothing of that sort. Plus, with college and studying.. I'm just not so sure about relationships. But then again... later on in the future IFFFF I do find someone.. what the fuck am I supposed to say when she asks me how many girls have I slept with?
"...Oh... just a couple. You know.. like 15."
LOL jk. Anyways, that's whats been on my mind.